I don't love him but he's here and you're not

stopirwin:

i deal with my personal problems the same way i study for tests

i don’t

runningthru-yourmind:

the-high-council:

findmedownsouth:

touch-me-inthe-dark:

spooning is the best because i get to see how long it takes to give you a boner with my ass

Girls are evil for this right here.

We declare that women are in fact the devils children

Quite possibly 

moonager:

One time I was on a rollercoaster and a guy’s hat fell off during one of the loops but he caught it when we were right side up again, and i have to go my whole life knowing I’ll never be as cool as that guy.

I wonder how old everyone is on tumblr.. Put a | by your age.

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swaggersbacktotheimpala:

engage-with-zorp:

sideb00b:

My best friend (who works at State Farm) just called me, so excited, saying she met a cute boy at work, whose name is Jake. She likes Jake from State Farm.

She sounds hideous.

Well she’s a guy so

officialunitedstates:

lot of people on here care too much about their anesthetic.  just let the doctors take care of it

lordoftheswag:

did you just say the n word?

white person:

image

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